As a woman in tech for over two decades, this wife is the one that needs to cool her jets. Its hard enough being a lady and having few colleagues to relate with or have conversations with. She probably sees him as an ally/mentor/colleague and your jealousy could stunt her career. Wife needs to exit the notion that its any more than that. And shame to anyone who has accused a lady of otherwise for just talking to a colleague platonically. Pft.