Anyone else have a problem with the woman’s passive inner voice?

Rewrite:

Him: Oh, you’re home. I had a shitty day at work. [Slams door.]

Me: Do you want some caviar with your wine? Don’t slam the door like that. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Him: Awful? That’s the best you could come up with? Never mind the fact that I haven’t gotten any sleep in, oh, weeks and weeks. I’m running on empty. Less than empty.

Me: This guy really needs to learn some self care, I could baby him, but that’s called basic self care and he is better to learn it on his own.

Him: I should just quit. But then how the fuck would we afford the new place? Not with your job — we couldn’t make the rent. And in this fucking economy, Lord knows how long it would take me to find another job. If I even got one at all. Who wants me?

Me: If I keep babying you, you will never learn to do big boy things on your own.

Him: Hah. They just hired a 26-year-old. Making more than I make. Fuck me, right? What do I have to bring to the table?

Her: Get over yourself and move on if the place is stale.

Him: We probably can’t afford to go to dinner if I quit. Fuck it. We’re not going out.
Her: That’s not your decision to make, its OUR decision to make.

Him: Now you’re upset. Great. As if I don’t have enough to deal with.
Her: I feel like leaving him for someone can stand beside me and not above me. Democracy please. Adult baby, nothnx.

Him: Why do you have to get upset so easily? Jesus Christ.
Her: Don’t kill him. Whatever you do, murder is not legal. Don’t murder him. You don’t want to go to jail do you? Jail would be worse than cohabitating with this #sshat right?

Him: I just wish you understood how hard things are for me right now.
Her: If this were less about you and more about us we would be having more of a constructive conversation. Stop drinking. Then we could go out to eat. *biggest eyeroll ever*